July 14, 2011

Things to Ponder

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?
Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out?"
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?
Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
What's the opposite of opposite?
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint some-where, you have to touch it to make sure?
Why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?
Why is the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star the same tune?
I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?
Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?
Do one legged ducks swim in circles?
If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

2 comments:

  1. I think my favorite is the "lisp" one! ;)

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  2. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavouring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    ReplyDelete